Feelings. What do they mean anyways? We can't trust our heart to lead us out of a chess game that will win us a grand prize of money, or to perform surgery and save somebody's life, so what's the point?
Obviously I can't be talking about the happy feelings. I absolutely love feeling happy. I'm more complaining about the heartache and hurt that accompanies the good, joyful, and inspiring. Yeah, that's about what I'm feeling right now.
I spent the day with my mom and it was full of seeing the dentist about my aching missing wisdom tooth that was just extracted along with three others, and shopping for necessities to bring with me to Germany, and it was absolutely wonderful. I was glad that I had the chance to spend alone time with my mom for one of the last times for a while, but unfortunately it reminded me at what heart strings were going to be tugged once I was away for ten months. I took a good long look at my town as well, and hugged my boyfriend for a while. It's so easy to think about how much I'm going to miss things.
However, because of how supportive everybody is being of me to go to this strange new place, I know that they really wanted this for me, and I become reminded of how much I wanted this for myself, no matter how much I'll miss everybody and everything.
What I learned today: the heart is the thing that drove the chess player to do what he loved, the surgeon to care about some stranger, and me to go explore new parts of myself and the world;
and, things change.
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