It's now December and Weinachten (Christmas) is around the corner. This is going to be my 5th month here in Deutschland and only 7 left to go. Where has all of the time gone? Have I been sleeping these past 4 or so months? It still catches me off guard when I'm reading signs in stores in German or when I find myself understanding what the people around me are saying, and yet it's not in English. I'm feeling very sentimental at the moment, so I apologize ahead of time if this blog is a little too sappy for your liking. I promise it won't be every post! Unless you like that sort of thing ;)
To start off, I went to a disco party yesterday night (my first one!). It has absolutely nothing to do with the word disco, other than the fact that there are bright, moving lights and loud music. Everybody decided not to wear platform shoes and flare jeans with sparkle-embroidered jackets it seems. There was of course alchohol and a room full of people that made it almost impossible to squeeze through to where you wanted to go. It was fun nevertheless, despite the fact that I'm not much of a I-like-to-be-in-a-mob-of-people type girl. Then I spent the night at a new friend's house and that was also fun, although it just consisted of sleeping. However, I spoke with her parents the next morning about being here (since when, for how long, do you like it, etc.) and was very pleased to find out how nice they are. I'm always afraid of not pleasing my friend's parents, not sure why, and the fear increasing with my German friend's parents. My friend also suggested that I write my blog in German and then translate it so both Germans and Americans can read it- I think that might have to wait until I can form better sentences though. Coming soon: Alex's blog in both German and English! Oooh. Ahhhh.
I'm currently expecting my Heimweh (homesickness) to increase now that the holidays are around. So far it hasn't gotten much worse, just missing my cat or speaking English here and there. I'm trying to keep busy to distract myself, however when I do too much I find myself becoming overwhelmed, so I have yet to find a balance. I'm doing aerobic on Thursdays (which consists of me trying to figure out what the lady wants me to do the whole time, although lately I'm starting to fit some actual exercise in!) and choir on Wednesdays. I have Mittagschule (school in the afternoon) on Mondays and Tuesdays and then on Fridays I usually help my host mom bake cookies or a cake, or go out with some friends. Weekends are usually more relaxed though, but there are Weinachts Markt(s?) that I have to go to! Christmas Markets that is, if I haven't cleared that up before. Those consist of pretty lights, Gluehwein (hot, spiced wine), lots of people, and a happy Christmasy feeling. I love going to them and I'm going to be sad when they're taken down.
My host mom bakes these heart-shaped cookies with marmalade between and half dipped in chocolate, and they taste amazing. This last week I was sick and a little sad about everything, and I received one of those heart-shaped cookies first from my host mom in my lunch box with a note saying "alles wird gut!" (everything will be okay), then from my 11 year-old host sister that she left of my desk when I was sleeping, and then from my host dad who brought me one when I was making a lasagna. It made me feel so special and reminded me again how much I love being here. However, a fellow blogger and friend that is also here for the year pointed out how she tries her best to avoid conflicts and confrontations with her host family because they don't have to love you no matter what happens, and I realized how true that was. I'm always trying my best to please them and make sure that everything between us is okay that sometimes it gets a little exhausting. I love them to bits, but I wish I was at peace with the idea that I'm not going to have to move to another host family any time soon, or hopefully ever. That was my biggest fear in coming here.
Another thing that's happened lately is I'm starting to drift apart from my friends that I had in the beginning, and that's a little scary. I think we're a little different personality wise and it seems as if they're a little unhappy with me, although I've yet to find out why. It could just be the stress of school (Germans in the 11th grade are now taking tests that counts towards their Abitur, which is a huge test that they study years for and they must pass in order to graduate) or it could just be that I'm not talking very much, mostly because I can't seem to find the words I want in order to contribute to their conversations. Either way, it's teaching me to extend myself to new people and become a little more outgoing which I've always needed. I've found that I need to feel comfortable with people before I can become my normal self, and I'm hoping to overcome that, if it's even possible. However I'm hoping that I can stay friends with everybody, I definitely don't want to start any conflicts while I'm here. I want to enjoy everything to the fullest extent while I'm here!
Well I guess this blog post wasn't as sentimental as I thought it would be, so you're welcome for sparing your eyes ;) No worries though, it'll be sure to come one of these times!
Bis Bald (see you soon)!
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